DS #1. I wish I had known.

Daily Scribbles #1 What one thing do I wish I had known about life when I was younger?

I’ve always wondered what my life would be, if I had a prewritten instruction – defined steps of what to think, make, do, change, develop, get rid of. Just imagine how easier it would be not to struggle with opting for the best path or reflecting on what one’s life is and for.

But there is no such an instruction. And so, we all play our chosen roles according to what we consider to be right, appropriate, diligent, successful. We make difficult choices stepping from one complicated question to another: what you are good at, who you want to become, what you wish your life to turn into.

Lacking those instructions is neither good nor bad. It makes some of the goals harder to accomplish though. And even more often, we act on a whim trusting our gut feeling while ignoring sensible reasons.

It reminds me of the popular game: have I never ever. In my case it is something like - have I never ever known for sure where my life path is taking me. And know what? That’s amazing.

For now, I know I should haven’t gone to that first university that made me depressed and lost in mind for a while. But back then, I thought my love to animals, having been arising in me from the early childhood, had something special to do with my future career. So far, it’s been one of the biggest mistakes in my life.

For now, I know I should have sent my poems to the publishing house instead of getting rid of it, because it was and IS a gift to write those. And what a remarkable addition to my portfolio it would be right now!

For now, I know I should have practiced writing more without thinking too much of what others could have thought, without self-judging. But that’s the way I am - doubting myself while believing in others.

I wish I had known what my talents are when I was younger, so that I could have mastered it earlier, so that my priorities have become clearer before I made so many mistakes. I wish I had known myself better when I was younger. But maybe that’s what our childhood and adolescence are for – to study oneself and come up with the best plan to become who you were always supposed to be.

DS#0. The challenge I've created for myself to beat procrastination and melancholy.